WELCOME to the first edition of "Messages from Amorica," a monthly column dedicated to uncovering the brightest, funniest, most insightful posts on the official Black Crowes message board. The idea behind this column is to develop a summary of popular and not-so-popular ideas that are shared everyday on the board. If one thing is for certain, Black Crowes’ fans are opinionated and they fiercely defend their ideas—sometimes quite eloquently. Some of you may wonder why this column will be limited to the official Black Crowes Message Board and not include others, like the one commonly known as "Doug’s Board." The answer is simple—laziness. It’s hard enough to sift through the hundreds of messages on just one board; two would be unbearable. Since the official board was brought to life earlier this year, there have been a number of interesting topics discussed on the board. None have come close, however, to reaching the mark currently held by BLKBRY and her post, "Why do we think Chris is hot?" BLKBRY lives in southern New Hampshire and has been a Black Crowes fan since she heard "Jealous Again" on the radio in 1990. She went to her first concert in 1993 and like so many other fans, she devotion towards the band solidified after hearing "Amorica." The Black Crowes Message Board is like the capitol of Amorica; the place where fans can meet other people who understand what "The Song" means. "The website is one of my favorite hobbies. I’ve met some wonderful people from the board at shows. It’s not like we are into a band that is on TRL or American Top 40. It’s harder for us to find each other. We live in Amorica. It’s a nice place to be." "Why do we think Chris is hot" was first posted on July 8 and at last count was 29 pages long and contained 1,411 replies. BLKBRY says she was amazed by the response. "I thought a couple of other girls would agree, but that others would say things like, ‘He’s so skinny, are you blind?’" There were some discouraging comments amongst the posts, but they were quickly buried under an avalanche of positive remarks by women (and a few men) who had a lot to say on the topic. "I was delighted to hear that others shared my opinion (as strange as I thought they were)," BLKBRY says. "Chris isn’t exactly a Redbook or 16 Magazine cover boy. He’s a bad boy. He represents real men. It was so nice to feel connected to the other girls that shared these opinions and shared little pieces of information I didn’t know. We are not stalkers, just a bunch of girls chatting and giggling." That chatting and giggling pushed "Why we thinks Chris is hot?" to the top of the message board everyday and there seemed to be no end in sight. Some fans began calling themselves "Horny Amorican Sisters," or H.A.S. for short. "Chris is hot!" became sort of a war cry for female fans who suddenly found themselves amongst other women caught under Mr. Robinson’s spell. His ‘bad boy image,’ sultry voice, wicked attitude, sense of humor, intelligence and soulful lyrics were just a few of the reasons given. Eventually, the messages posted were more declarations of Chris’ "hotness" rather than explanations of why he is hot. Those who posted were not shy about their feelings, which lead to a brief discussion of what would happen if Chris stumbled across the message board and caught a glimpse of what they were saying. Here’s what BLKBRY had to say, "I would be very embarrassed if I knew Chris had read our crazy posts. The first few responses may flatter him, but then the other 1400 replies may scare him. We are not a bunch of teenage girls screaming at an N*Sync concert, even though that’s surely the way it must read." The discussion wasn’t always about Chris. Some mentioned the merits of the other Black Crowes members, especially Rich, but he never earned his own, separate topic. Several posts by HemisFear drew some female attention away from Chris for a few days and then there was the constant battle to stay ahead of the "Hot Lesbians Rule" post. The topic has been kept alive for over two months and is only now showing some signs of stopping. So like it or not, "Chris is hot!" |